anticipation

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

I have hit that point in the semester where I. Just. Don't. Care. All I want to do is curl up on the couch, wearing comfy flannel pajamas, wrapped in a warm blanket, cup of tea in hand, and watch mindless television.

And I plan to do just that. All day Saturday.

My last major assignment is due on Friday, and I am struggling to work up the motivation to do it. It will get done, but not gracefully. And probably not particularly well.

I haven't had a full day away from studying since the first weekend of term, and I really feel it now. It's sad that even the prospect of a complete day off fills me with such excitement that I want to go out and buy lovely new pajamas to celebrate the occasion (of course, this desire might also be somewhat related to today's visit to Marks and Spencer where they currently have a rather wonderful range of sleepwear), and although it's only Tuesday, I'm already making up a list of all the rubbish I want to watch (The Hills, Sex and the City, Friends, schmaltzy chick flicks....).

I really can't wait.

love blooms bright

Sunday, 8 November 2009

For the past couple of years, Kimberly has generously organised love blooms bright, a blog of daily meditations, stories, poems and photographs for Advent. She is now looking for possible contributors for this year. If you are interested in taking part, head over to her blog and leave her a comment to let her know (you do not have to be Scottish or Piskie to contribute). If you don't feel able to commit to it but have found it in the past to be a gift of quiet space in the midst of a busy season, leave her a comment to let her know that you have appreciated it and think it's something worth continuing.

silly season

Friday, 6 November 2009

It's that time of year when I'm writing essays and disappear under piles of books and articles, and Justin is swamped with requests from clients desperate to have projects finished before Christmas. We tend to go a bit crazy and distract ourselves with silliness. And so I share with you some of our nonsense:


Enjoy!

decisions

Thursday, 29 October 2009

It's that time of the semester when essays deadlines are quickly approaching and it's just about all I can do to stay on top of the weekly assignments and reading. However, I do feel like I'm back on track after the selection conference and TISEC weekend earlier in the semester. Simply knowing what the shape of the next couple of years is going to be is a huge help, even if I know the pace is going to be somewhat frantic.

While it's busy, this semester isn't as crazy as last year. I still have four classes, but the teaching hours are fewer, and aside from weekly (unassessed) translations, I don't have any major assignments due for Greek. I also only have two essays. There's one more TISEC weekend, which unfortunately falls the weekend before exams start, but my exam schedule is such that this isn't the catastrophe it could have been.

Next semester, on the other hand, I'll have four essays and an extra hour of Greek each week, with more research work due for it. My classes are also more awkwardly placed throughout the week. There's a TISEC weekend relatively early in the semester which should be fine, but the second one falls during the time when most essays are due. The third one is during exams (but with a longer revision period second semester, it should be ok).

One of the TISEC requirements is a placement, traditionally done from Epiphany to Easter, and now is the time for me to be making some decisions about this - about where I want to go and when I want to do it. There is enough flexibility that I could potentially do it over the summer instead. I know that it's arranged so that there are about 4 contact hours a week, which honestly isn't much, but I am also aware that these 4 hours do not include preparation time (and I am also aware of how long it takes me to write a sermon, or even prayers). Right now I look ahead to next year and know that with the arrangement of New College courses and TISEC weekends, it's going to be busy. I'm not sure how I feel about adding a placement on top of it. I worry that I won't get as much out of it as I would if I were doing it during a time when I have less going on. The additional travel time into Edinburgh (because I'd almost certainly go to a church up there) is also an issue.

I appreciate that the period between Epiphany and Easter is very rich liturgically and it would be good to get a feel for what that is like to be more involved during that period. I know that if I go to a church in Edinburgh with a large student population or with lots of families, there will be a number of different activities I could get involved in. And I'm aware that if I do a placement in the summer, it will be quieter. But that might be good too, right?

I'm really torn on this, so I am opening it up to you, dear readers - particularly those of you who have experienced my madness during term time, those of you who know New College and those of you who have been through TISEC. What would your advice be?

literati

Friday, 16 October 2009

We haven't had a picture of Coleridge recently, and Justin and I have been amused by his latest choice of place-from-which-to-view-the-world, so here - Coleridge proves he has fabulous taste in fiction by choosing a shelf which is home to Jack Kerouac, Laurie King, Milan Kundera, Cormac McCarthy, Carson McCullers, Ian McEwan and Orhan Pamuk:




(apologies for the terrible quality of the picture - it was taken far too early this morning just as I was leaving for uni when it was still dark, and no amount of photoshopping will improve it)

whirlwind

Sunday, 11 October 2009

As you know, on Monday I found out by phone that I had managed to successfully negotiate the final hurdle before beginning training for ordination. Tuesday I got the letter which confirmed it. Friday, I headed up to Perth straight after class for the first Theological Institute of the Scottish Episcopal Church (TISEC) residential weekend.

I was already feeling behind in my classes having missed the first two days of term to be down at the selection conference in Ely. I still hadn't fully made the transition back into the academic year. And I noticed that this weekend I struggled to make the shift into TISEC stuff - partly because I hadn't let myself think too much about it before I heard the result of the selection panel and partly because I was coming straight into the training weekend from a busy and exhausting week.

Because the weekend's schedule was packed with very little free time, I am now looking at all that needs to be accomplished for this next week (and a fair chunk for tomorrow) and want to wail in despair.

I am tired. I like having time to do things properly and reflect on them. I like having space for myself. I like to have a bit of time off of thinking and reading and engaging with new ideas (hence the total 'Gossip Girl' addiction). I forced myself to do nothing the weekend after the selection panel, to allow myself to rest and reflect and do whatever I needed to do to be attentive to what had happened there, to provide some kind of closure and transition and to come down from the stress of it. But I did it knowing that it would put me further behind academically. Now I feel hopelessly behind. And too tired to catch up (despite knowing that the busiest part of the semester is yet to come). But I am also in desperate need of space and time to come down from the busyness of the week and the weekend and the overall journey to this point, and I know myself well enough to know that if I'm not careful, my body will demand the rest, and I will get sick, and I really can't afford that.

I am realising that certain expectations I had of myself might have to be relaxed. Hopes of a first class degree are quickly disappearing. And I can nearly accept that. Nearly. What I don't like is the feeling that I'm scraping by, doing only what needs to be done, not absorbing any of it, memorising and not learning.

I need to somehow find more hours in the day (perhaps by not blogging when I should be studying .... or sleeping).

news at last

Monday, 5 October 2009

The information I received yesterday regarding the Very Important Letter was incorrect. A quick phone call to the diocesan office this afternoon revealed that the report from the selection conference only arrived this morning; the letter to me will arrive tomorrow (all being well).

However the letter will (hopefully) only confirm the news that I have been recommended for training for ordained ministry in the Scottish Episcopal Church!

 
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 UK: Scotland License.